Give me a fucking break!

btyToday has just been one of those days, you know the days where the kids literally scream from dusk til dawn, everything goes wrong, the internet fucks up, you burn your dinner and end up eating Ryvita and nutella for tea? Yep one of ‘those’ days.

 Today was hard, motherhood is hard; really fucking hard some days your totally slaying motherhood, your skipping through the house wash basket in hand, the kids are napping perfectly, you have tea prepped; have done all your ‘to do’ list, you are practically Mary frigging Poppins. Then some days. like me today you find yourself telling your five month old twin to “give me a fucking break”, yes I did tell my twins today on numerous occasions to “give me a fucking break”.

 But I felt shame in struggling, I felt embarrassed to admit that some days it’s totally overwhelming been a mum especially a mum to twins while your hubby is working away until November, so your parenting solo! Why do we feel ashamed to be struggling? Why do we feel the need to be super bloody nanny, to be the perfect mum to have a crystal clean house, immaculate children and still look good ourselves. I don’t, most days I live in my pj’s and if a baby wipe touches my face its a victory.

Today I wanted to feel sorry for myself, I wanted to moan and rant without been judged. Yet me feeling like this is seen as a failure like im the worlds worst mum, somebody call Esther Rantzen! Me wanting a few hours away from the chaos and pressure of being responsible for two humans equates to been a terrible mother!

 Sometimes this shit gets hard, sometimes you need to swear, you need to walk outta the room and leave the kids screaming you need to, to stay sane. And as mothers we need to be able to feel these emotions without been judged or our parenting ability slated. If me wanting one night away from my five month twins makes me a bad mum then im ok with that! People can judge all they like, sometimes you need that break, you need that ‘me’ time to re group get your shit together so you can carry on slaying motherhood.

So I’m saying “fuck you” to the judgemental people, “fuck you” to motherhood, you bit me in the arse today. Today was a shit day and im sure more will come but having a bad day doesnt mean you’re a bad mum. It means you’re a real mum!

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