Lets get me pregnant!

The main event, what we had been building up to, the final act, was all happening. We had finally made it, we were actually getting an embryo put back in. Holy shit! This was really happening.

Our egg transfer felt so surreal, and if your anything like me you get totally swept away in it all and just mentally move from one milestone to the next, never actually processing whats really going on. Looking back now I wish I had taken more time to sit and breath, take it all in and process it all, live in the moment a bit more, because it is at the end of the day an experience, it is a memory. That’s a regret I defo have is that I didn’t take it all in.

Day of egg transfer, you have done all you have needed to do and now it’s the big scary moment that you have been building up to. I woke up like normal, I had packed all my bag the night before, me and hubby were up and ready to go. One last thing, stick that huge bloody suppository up my arse! Not one of my finest hours I admit but it must be done and by this point with the IVF I don’t think I had any dignity left anyway. We arrived at the hospital and the nurses were all very positive “todays the day” nearly every single nurse said to me grinning like Cheshire cats as they escorted me to the treatment room. The usual process of confirming your name, date of birth etc had to be done and a nurse explained to hubby and I what would happen. The embryologist would hand the injection type thing which contained the embryo to the consultant who had already opened your cervix and inserted a catheter, he would push the injection wobbly tube through the catheter and push the liquid through containing the embryo as deep into your cervix as possible hopefully leaving the embryo in place. (please excuse the highly educated and correct description of equipment, as you can see I’m not a scientist)He would hand the embryologist the injection type thing back and she would check under the microscope that the embryo had been deposited correctly.  I was given a gown to put on and told to put on my dressing gown and slippers and they would collect us when they were ready.

The nurse collected us and we went on our way, I didn’t really talk much during the process I think I was in auto pilot just going through the motions. I lay on the couch while the consultant put on what can only be described as a miners hat! With a bloody torch, so that last bit of dignity, yep that had gone, I now had a consultant with his head up my fagde wearing a bloody head torch! Anyway the nurse was scanning me on my belly the whole time so the consultant could actually see where the injection was going and how far in it was to ensure it was in the right place. But that’s where it all kinda went wrong, (again) my ovaries and uterus where that swelled that the consultant couldn’t actually see anything, he couldn’t see how far the injection was in and said “im going to have to do this blind, but it will hurt you”. Great! So the consultant proceeded to push the injection in as far as he could physically push it, to ensure that it had gone all the way into the back of the cervix, I meanwhile was in tonnes of pain as per bloody usual and just wishing the whole process would hurry up and be over. Seriously every thing that could happen really does happen to me! The nurse kept scanning but the consultant had no way of knowing if the embryo had been placed into the correct place. He handed the injection to the embryologist who confirmed the embryo had been deposited. So the embryo was in there inside me somewhere and we just prayed the consultant knew his way around a cervix! That was it all over all the pain over, all the procedures over, everything was hanging on that one tiny embryo and hoping it had some super sticking power, if i could have squirted some super glue up there I would have.

Now the reason the embryologist wasn’t able to see what he was doing was because I had OHSS (over hyper stimulation syndrome) and by this point it had not been detected. Three days prior to egg transfer I had been feeling like total crap, feeling sick, sore, bloated and struggling to breath. “This isn’t right I need to phone the clinic” I told my hubby, and they told me to come in to get checked over. I was scanned and the scan showed loads of excess fluid or what they said was blood, internal bleeding from the egg collection. My blood pressure was taken and all my vitals were fine so it was deemed I was well, didn’t show signs of OHSS and just had some internal bleeding, I was sent home with some tinzaparin injections to inject daily into my legs to stop blood clots and told everything is fine, we are still going ahead with egg transfer. I personally knew I wasn’t well and that something was not right but I went with the advice from the clinic. Now honestly I felt so crappy I didn’t want to have the egg transfer so I visited the clinic again to tell them that I didn’t feel well enough. This time the consultant sat with me and hubby and said that I was perfectly well and they advised that we went with the fresh transfer and not to hold off and freeze all the embryos, they wanted to egg transfer this cycle as it would be our best chance of a pregnancy. So I went with their advice, “I must just be a total wimp” I kept telling myself. And this is a hard decision to debate because yes I had OHSS and ended up in hospital for thirteen days with fluid on my lungs and stomach, but I also ended with a positive pregnancy test. “So would I do the fresh transfer again even though I was feeling so ill or would I wait and freeze if I could go back in time?” Truthfully I would do it all again in a heartbeat, the illness and OHSS was totally worth the positive pregnancy test at the end. I wish though that someone had believed me when I said I felt really ill and not brushed me off, I can’t say I wish I had demanded I be checked over properly because had the OHSS been detected before the egg transfer then my beautiful girls wouldn’t be here today. So it was clearly meant to be.

Four days after egg collection I had had enough, I felt so ill and I wasnt improving, something defo wasn’t right. I phoned the clinic who advised to go straight to the gynaecology ward in the hospital to be checked over. I honestly thought I was wasting their time and felt really stupid for handling the IVF process so badly. The consultant came and scanned me then listened to my lungs, took some bloods and came back about half an hour later. He confirmed what I had suspected I had OHSS with fluid on both lungs, so I was ill, I wasn’t a wimp and yes I couldn’t bloody breath! He informed me that they were going to admit me and that if I didn’t improve they might have to drain my lungs (thankfully it never came to that)

I ended been in hospital for thirteen days on two drips most the time, been violently sick and so bloated I could hardly move. And breathing well I felt like I had smoked twenty a day my whole life, it’s a horrible feeling not been able to breath properly. I was given human protein through a drip to encourage my body to absorb the fluid off my lungs and was scanned and xrayed daily. I had never felt so ill and bed bound my whole life (that was untill I had a c section!)

 

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2 thoughts on “Lets get me pregnant!

  1. OHSS was one of the things I really feared in the IVF process. Luckily it didn’t happen to me, it sounds really tough! But, as you say, a lot of things we do in this process we’d do again, focusing on the end result and not the nightmare along the way.

    I had to laugh out loud when reading about the torchlight and lost dignity. Sometimes I wish I’d counted all my times in the dreaded stirrups over the almost 4 year journey, but a part of me is glad I don’t know 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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